well even though most of you random viewers don't care im just putting this here


well lately ive been talking to this guy...Rocky....he is like the coolest guy ever and well... he's been somewhat inspiring me and so he's my muse at the time i've gotten better but not as good as i want to be...practice practice practice uhm but yea ive gotten back into music i used to listen to in 8-10th grade...i didn't realize how open i am towards music...i thought homeschooling would be easy but its alot of hard work...i though it would be like oh i can sleep in until whenever and i can do my work anytime and however long i can well if i did that that means that i wont get certain subjects done and yea thats pretty much whats happening.. i haven't done ANYTHING in my spanish class....foreign languages are evil to learn on the internet...uhm i think ive gained weight....i sit on my ass all the time so pretty muc i should gain weight and i have pe. as a class(dont ask how that works because i dont even know and im taking it)im trying to do work while im on here...but yea i think now my artwork is getting better because i have alot of free time or i draw whatever i think no matter what time it is...even if im in the middle of a perfect dream i wake myself up and draw it...thats kinda sad... i dont take my time drawing it then i just do a quick sketch and never come back to it.. but ill upload some of the things ive drawn recently theres a couple i really like but i really need color... they're all in pencil and so blahze so yea...i need to buy some plugs.. ive been too broke or to cheap to buy some... i want to order some because i know exactly what i want from bodyartforms.com and yea....i wish i had a job and a credit card...i want to cut my hair but idk what to get... i dont want to look like an idiot i want to cut my hair for two reasons one is that i have like 2 or 3 inches of dead ends and i NEED to get rid of them and i want a change....im tired of doing the same thing with my hair but im jst afraid of what im gonna have to do to take care of it and how im gonna look...well i wouldnt say quite afraid just concerned..i wish i lived in long beach...and it sucks rocky's on house arrest.stupid snitches... anyways ....i've been out a few times by myself man i was so happy to breathe fresh air...well...somewhat fresh....ok well be outside...i got to see some of my friends and i got to go on a hike recently... man that was rad but awkward especially since my ex was there.. he's effing playing with my heart or emotions orw/e... meh w/e ive been able to make myself feel meh but rocky makes me happy and laugh alot... im afraid of relationships... i can say that they terrify me... im afraid of being hurt i have trust issues .. idk why... there is this guy from snother state who is basically obsessed with me and i somewhat just met him...he's effing creeping me out now... idk i want to let him down gently .he's asked me out several times and i just "met" him last week... ive said no everytime but its just annoying me argh... but yea im gonna end this here..so if i feel like it ill prbobably post something later